Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
