Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
