she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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