If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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