bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
