Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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