she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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