All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
