best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
