why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
