You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
