sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
