I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize