umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
