Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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