Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
