Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
