Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize