we're chasing vodka with high fives
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
