So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
