quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
