Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
