How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
