Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize