sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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