My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
