butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
