Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
