I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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