is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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