Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
