If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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