She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just cropdusted the office
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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