i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
