My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
