you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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