Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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