"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize