apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize