I wanna passion pit in your ass
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
