That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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