addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
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there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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