Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
