If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have fence marks all over my body
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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