When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
