Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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