i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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