Duck Duck Cougar?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
