You can't motorboat a personality
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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