Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
