waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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