Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
