I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
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as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize