Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
