He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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