My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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