He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
