there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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