Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
