I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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