Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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