Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
