My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
